Conflict Resolution Through Rumi


Mevlana’s approach to conflict resolution is simple: “come to me without you, I will come to you without me.” This requirement not only solves, it also prevents conflicts.

“The self is the biggest curse of humanity,

It is a hair in the eye, a thorn in the bottom of the foot.

It impedes seeing and searching for the truth.”

 

The one who is aware that he is more than “self” begs God: “Don’t leave me in the hands of this unreliable self, don’t make me agree with anyone but You.”

I run to you from the deceit and trouble of myself, I am yours, don’t give myself back to me.

The “Self” is like Pandora’s Box, it contains all kinds of evolutionary inheritances of our perception. The oldest and strongest of all is our survival instinct. Over time this trait hasn’t matured, it has degenerated into the most sophisticated prey-predator system.

Mind and Faith stepped aside while excessive commercialism, nationalism and religion have paraded around. Selfishness was the invisible culprit. In the meantime, man’s destructive power increased. It no longer takes an army to produce calamity around the world, a small group of people will suffice.

Annihilation of self means suicide to many mortals. Since it is not legal, considered dirty and scary, Annihilation of self is swept under the carpet. In other sense it is an honorable procedure. Practiced by saints and some prophets, mortification (or Fena) has been suggested in every major sacred text. It is a long and hard procedure which involves subjecting one’s self to many years of controlled chronic stress through all kinds of deprivation (sensory, food, air, and sleep).

Mevlana talks frequently about this time proven method that takes ordinary men from Existence to Absence, and ultimately Ecstasy and Love. He talks about this in every sentence almost:

“There is neither question nor answers on the way of love,

It is but a mystery. Lovers don’t listen to the fatwa,

This is a matter of absence, not existence .”

(T, 61-275, 391, 409)

 

“The secret of truth cannot be understood by asking questions,

Gathering information or spreading all your wealth.

If you have not cried for fifty years with bloody tears,

If you have not burned your heart out

You cannot find the way from word to ecstasy.”

(L, 135-2, 1085,  1219)

 

Since humans are the children of their perception, the mother is the one who should be changed if any alteration of behavior can be expected. (Not the other way around)  

Mevlana suggests:

“You have to do something inside of you,

You can’t untie the knot by listening to stories. 

A fountain inside the house

Is better than a river outside.”

D, 92-217, 829, 881

And for the man on the street:

“You who lives everyday life,

Shame on you! Why do you live like this?

Do not live without the Love for which you would die for.

Die for that Love, then you will become immortal.”

H, 181-9, 1608, 1799

For some, these words describe a Utopia. But this Utopia is more accessible than the virgins in Paradise.

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